Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Speak

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You're Invited
Strange Attractions: Exploring Graffiti

Photo Exhibit
The Funky Monkey
130 Elm Street
Cheshire, Connecticut
April 29 to May27

Reception: 7 to 9 p.m., Friday, May 2

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Acceptance and Rejection: Two Sides of the Same Coin

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If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. (Vincent Van Gogh)

Acceptance and rejection are two sides of a coin that must be invested and reinvested in the creative process. They are insights, holes in the walls that isolate us from the world around us and let in the light of understanding.

It can take time to assimilate both acceptance and rejection and avoid the pitfall of becoming complacent in response to the former and inactive in response to the latter. This can be difficult because artists are vulnerable at every turn in the creative process. They have expressed whatever is true and real in themselves in the truest, most real way possible, and they await a response. Will you stop and look? Give it a thought? Do you get it? Do you care?

On Sunday, I attended a forum on acceptance and rejection at Wisdom House. There, a panel of five artists--sculptor Joy Brown, poet Davyne Verstandig, visual artist and writer Florin Firimita, actress Cady McClain, and music director Tim Stella discussed the place of acceptance and rejection in their lives. Two reflections struck a chord with me.

One came from Florin Firimita. He talked about an experience about 18 years ago, shortly after he had emigrated from Romania to the US via Italy. He had been sitting for five hours with a gallery owner who had seen his work. At the end of the conversation, the gallery owner told him he wouldn't show Firimita's work--flowers and landscapes--because it was, he said, wall paper. He told the young artist he didn't believe his body of work reflected who he was. Firimita spent a year thinking about what this provocative statement could mean. Ultimately, he discovered the gallery owner was right, and he changed his direction as an artist. His florals and landscapes gave way to psychological landscapes that explore the universal themes of identity, love, death, loss, reality, dreams and memories.

The other came from sculptor Joy Brown. She talked about her time in Japan as an apprentice sculptor. She had thrown countless sake cups, but not a one pleased her teacher. So off they went to the dump. The student had more to offer, and the teacher was not willing to settle before she realized it for herself. Accepting that meant accepting a broader horizon full of possibilities. She discovered later, though, that the man who had managed the dump had rescued her little cups from the rubbish and displayed them around his hut. They pleased him; he found them beautiful. These cups were works of art for him though they were merely a step in a broader creative process for Brown.

I've known acceptance and rejection. They feel the same to me. I prefer that moment when I am creating and nobody is around and the voice inside says "yes." I don't always here it, and it doesn't last long; it doesn't have to. The "yes" is the air in the cushion that protects me from the pain of rejection and even the painful challenge of acceptance. The "yes" tells me what I have done is true and good right now. And it asks, "Will you come with me, please?"

Here's a video clip from the forum.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Weekend Snapshot: Hello, Violet!

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We spent Saturday morning cleaning up the gardens around our little home. Here we found violets, fiddlehead ferns, dandelions, and Solomon's seal growing where they pleased along with the imported ivy, rhododendron, and mountain laurel. We took a break from chores in the afternoon, when the sun dissolved the thin gauze of clouds and announced recess, and went for a walk along the Shepaug River in Roxbury. There we discovered a few other varieties of fern and violets, wood anemone, false Solomon's seal, jack-in-the-pulpit, and skunk cabbage among the up-and-about native wildflowers.

Next time we'll bring the field guide to further acquaint ourselves with the floral wonders of open spaces dedicated to their thriving.

More at Weekend Snapshot

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Blog Your Blessings: Text

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On Monday, my daughter couldn't wait to show her fourth-grade teacher the replica of the Declaration of Independence that she had bought as a souvenir in Williamsburg,Virginia. As I watched her little legs carry her and her overburdened backpack to the school bus that morning, my mind's eye replayed all the images of paper and pen that we had seen while we were in Colonial Williamsburg. Every class of society had a pen, ink, and paper--from the royal governor to officers and soldiers, to children. The book maker's shop faced the printer's; even the floor of the church was inscribed with the names of worshipers and the pews were filled with prayer books.

Text was everywhere.


Literacy, it seems to me, was the best weapon in the Patriots' arsenal. Put alongside that a confidence in the ordinary person's ability to reason and respond appropriately, and you've got yourself a revolution led by words. Everything else followed. Literacy is power. It is also a great leveler; who has knowledge can bring it to bear on experience and so become wise. Neither wealth nor poverty need come between us and knowledge. Anyone can get a library card and hit the books and make life better.


Watching the bus take my daughter away, I found myself thinking about the bus itself. Each one costs a couple of hundreds of dollars a day to run. That's stunning. We build and employ these mammoth yellow things because we cherish freedom that comes from literacy. Why else develop a transportation system for the express purpose of taking children from their homes and placing them inside a school building so teachers can guide their reading?


Our government began with a single-page document that began with what it called self-evident, or obvious, facts: that we are created equal and that God has blessed us with the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Governments, our founders said, exist to secure these rights. So important was the argument of this document that it was read in public venues up and down the colonies in those days that led to revolution. The text was everywhere.


About 15 years ago, I used to cover education for a small town newspaper. Whenever I needed to talk with the high school principal, I'd go up at dismissal time. Always, I had to walk through the fleet of rumbling buses to get to the building. I loved it right down to the stink of the burning diesel because all those buses represented the great public gift of education to our children and a sure belief that each of us has the potential and the right to learn well and do well.


More Blog Your Blessings Here

Friday, April 25, 2008

Skywatch Friday: The Eyes Have It

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I misplaced my glasses more than a year ago, so a lot of life is a blur. I rely on my camera to bring in the far-away wonders of my world. Last week in Virginia, I took my morning walk down a little service road that smelled like paradise. I looked up with my camera to discover an arbor of wisteria, above.

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Closer to my nose, I enjoyed this view from the inside of the Capitol Building in Colonial Williamsburg. Things look like this to me even when the glass is not melting! Looking through this bullseye glass, I realized being clear and being transparent are not the same thing...

More Skywatch Friday at Wigger's World

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Thursday Thirteen No. 30: Bloodroot

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Away back in '78, I actually learned something in science class that I have kept with me. In the spring of that year, our teacher, Mr. Primini (a fiery Italian with no first name we could imagine) would take us out to the nature center built by our predecessors along a stream behind our school. He charged us with the tasks of measuring the girth of various species of tree, drawing fiddlehead, and finding a range of rare wildflowers.

Bloodroot was among them. Anemone and trillium grew in abundance there then, but bloodroot was a rarity. This, of course was a part of the lesson.


I came across some on Sunday when I was working at the Sharon Garden Project in Sharon, Connecticut. I was so taken by the flower that I decided to reacquaint myself with this one of Connecticut's native wild flowers. Meet my friend:

1. Bloodroot grows anywhere from 6 to 12 inches

2. in rich woods.


3. Also known as puccoon,


4. its white flowers, which are 1 1/2 inches wide, bloom from March to May.


5. The flower thrives in partial to full shade in average to moist soil.


6. A broad leaf wraps around its delicate stalk.


7. American Indians used root tea for rheumatism, asthma, bronchitis, lung ailments, laryngitis, fevers, and as an emetic.


8. They applied root juice applied to warts and


9. Used as a dye and a decorative skin stain.


10. John Smith reported in 1612 that “pocones is a small roote that groweth in the mountaines, which being dryed and beate in powder turneth red; and this they [Indians]use for swellings, aches, annointing their joints, painting their heads and garments . . . and at night where his lodging is appointed, they set a woman fresh painted red with Pocones and oile, to be his bedfellow.”


11. On that subject: A bachelor of the Ponca tribe would rub a piece of the root as a love charm on the palm of his hand, then scheme to shake hands with the woman he desired to marry. After shaking hands, the girl would be found willing to marry him in 5 to 6 days.


12. American Indians and herbal practitioners have used it as a remedy for skin cancer, too.


13. It is an endangered wildflower.

More at Thursday Thirteen

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Tobacco, Elbow Grease, Garden Produce

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Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sharon Garden Project: Warming up for Waterbury

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What's better than spending a warm spring weekend getting the garden ready for the growing season? After a long winter that stretched itself across the face of early spring, nothing seemed better to me when we started out for the Sharon Garden Project at the crack of dawn Saturday.

My husband, daughter, and I traveled North to the home of psychotherapists Dan and Mary Gates in Sharon, Connecticut, to work with a whole bunch of friends and strangers on the half-acre of organic gardens and the shed that are being created to serve the needs of folks in Waterbury by putting fresh vegetables on their tables.

The Gateses make their land available to the parishioners of St. John's Parish in Waterbury and Waterbury Baptist Ministries so that these two groups can feed patrons of Greater Waterbury Interfaith Ministries and Jubilee Harvest who need but can't afford fresh food.


"We've been doing this for nine years," Dan told me on Saturday. "I'd come out here and think to myself, why am I mowing this when I could be growing food on it?" At the time, Mary was associate pastor of St. John's, so the Gateses were well aware of the need for food in Waterbury. Members of that church threw themselves behind the project to create the gardens. So did the congregation of Waterbury Baptist Ministries, led by the Rev. Maner Tyson, which had been providing groceries to hungry people for some time through its Jubilee Harvest ministry. Over the weekend, about 45 people from both churches and elsewhere worked on the garden and the shed.

"We decided to grow produce here that would give us the greatest yield for the size of this garden and the labor available. And people were really surprised to think anybody would put fresh food in their hands," said St. John's parishioner Bob Toffey.

Bob has been working at the Gardens from the very beginning and has seen the project through trials and errors as well as its achievement and growth. He helped build the frames for the raised beds, and he installed a pump to bring water up from a nearby stream so the plants could be watered without relying on the Gateses' household pump. He and Dan learned about putting aluminum foil balls covered with peanut butter on newly-installed electric fencing after the deer grazed over an entire crop of tomatoes. "We didn't want to hurt them, but we wanted them to get the idea, and it worked," Bob said.

Each year, the garden is improved in some way through the combined efforts of caring people. After the barn is completed, the garden may well see an old shed transformed into a chicken coop.

Dan said that no money changes hands to make this project work. The gardens are maintained and improvements are made through contributions from churches, grantors, and other friends. The gardens are maintained by volunteers from the Waterbury churches, neighbors who are interested in the project, and other friends. Volunteers who know nothing about gardening get all the direction they need to keep the garden growing from folks who know. "You don't need a green thumb--you really don't have to know anything about gardening. You just have to ask what needs to be done, and someone will show you," said Lorraine Barker, a member of the Outreach Committee at St. John's. Lorraine and her husband Ray helped paint siding for the barn designed by Hank Fotter so that Sharon Gardens will have a place to dry vegetables and seeds, store equipment, and hold small gatherings.

Harriet Fotter, administrator for St. John's Parish and a longstanding supporter of this project, said, "Everyone here is connected in some way, whether they are members of the church, friends of the people working here, or people who know people who are."

In the time we were there, we saw the gardens throw off winter and cradle vegetable seedlings. We saw an old foundation transformed into a shed ready for its roofing and siding, and a lot of good folks feeling tired and happy--and connected--under a warm spring sun. What's better than that?

Here's a brief video with Dan and Maner talking about the project.

Weekend Snapshot: Soft Women, Steely Men in Williamsburg, Virginia

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The hat and the hilt are artifacts of the Governor's Palace in Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia. The front hall of the palace was literally covered from wall-to-wall with weapons; the bedrooms were as soft as the foyer was hard.

Weekend Snapshot

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Blog Your Blessings: Travel in Time and Space

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We spent a lovely few days in Virginia this week. We returned to the Williamsburg area with neighbors so each of our one-and-only daughters could learn some American history and have some good company. The trip was pure pleasure from start to finish. Our neighbors are good people who are easy to be with. Their daughter is a few years older than Adella, and the girls complement, rather than compete with, each other.

The trip south was also a form of time travel that advanced spring for us by a good month. The flowers in the gardens and along the roads were gorgeous. The journey was a trip back in time, too. We filled our days with trips to Colonial Williamsburg, Yorktown, and Historic Jamestowne. At each site, the interpreters were as enthusiastic as they were knowledgeable about their area of interest, whether it was agriculture, trade, politics, government, or exploration.

Without a doubt, our favorite presentation came from a volunteer at Jamestowne who told us the story of John Smith, a diplomat, leader, explorer and gentleman whose intelligence, audacity, and sense of humor kept him alive when dealing with angry Native Americans and kept the first settlers alive through their first humble years in North America.

That people have a right to enjoy the fruit of their labors and determine the course of their lives in open cooperation with others--and will do exactly that--was a theme running through all the presentations. These basic human rights seem downright ordinary, yet these rights were revolutionary in the New World of the 18th century, when middle-class merchants and landowners began to insist on them and framed them in the Declaration of Independence. The story really is about ennobling the ordinary--us.

In so many ways, the struggle for those rights continues in some form in every generation--women's suffrage, child labor laws, the trade union movement, the Civil Rights Movement, OSHA. Returning to places like Williamsburg, Jamestown, and Yorktown, where the Revolution ended and Independence began, is a great reminder to keep asking the basic questions of what makes a decent life and to remain confident that the answers can be found and secured.

Can't get there from here? Try out these excellent sites:
Historic Jamestowne
Colonial Williamsburg
Yorktown


More photos here

Image: The garden behind the Governor's Palace, Colonial Williamsburg.


More Blog Your Blessings are here.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Skywatch Friday: Standing between the Suns

We had a big storm early last Saturday morning. The rain rolled down in torrents to the accompaniment of thunder and lightening. Though I love a morning walk and never worry about the rain, this rain kept me in my warm bed. An hour later, peace prevailed and the sun rose to dissolve the mist that clung to the air, and the sky was as blue as can be. After one gorgeous cup of coffee, I pulled on my sneakers to see how the daffodils fared. To my surprise, I found the rain had baptized the new forsythia.

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Clumsy as I am, I almost stepped on the very flowers I had been looking for as I snapped photos of the forsythia. It seemed as if the sunshine had emerged from the earth as well as descended from the sky. It was nice to be caught between the suns!

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More Skywatch Friday at Wigger's World

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thursday Thirteen 29: Beaver Ecology

There are many smallish bodies of water near our home, and many of them are homes of beavers. Often when I walk at dusk, a beaver will slap his tail on the water and swim off, bringing me out of my reverie and happily aware that our landscape is full of life.

Beavers are among my favorite animals. Though their taking down of trees and building of dams seem destructive, beavers are actually very creative engineers adept at modifying the landscape to suit their needs. They create win-win situations for everybody because they provide habitat for a variety of plants and animals. When I think of the benefits beavers bring to an area, I am awestruck by what these little guys can do with a few teeth and strong jaws.

1. Beavers dam rivers and streams to form ponds.

2. The base of a dam is made of stones and mud. Beavers place sticks on top of this foundation. Beavers scoop the mud with their forepaws and pat it down with their feet and snouts.

3. Beaver ponds provide habitat for beavers' food of choice: water lilies, cottonwood, willow, and alder.

4. Since beavers' predators live on land, the water also provides a security perimeter.

5. Trees whose habitat has been flooded die; others are felled by beavers.

6. Dragonflies, butterflies and fruit flies also thrive.

7. Animals such as rabbits, salamanders, and water foul that are on the move from the human-disturbed ecosystem who are looking for food and desirable habitat find sanctuary near beaver ponds.

8. Various waterfowl, especially migrating ducks, will use the beaver pond as a staging area on their fall and spring migration, landing to eat the water plants and insects that were bubbling up in the water.

9. Many animals significantly supported by the work of beavers were driven to local extinction in the nineteenth century, around the same time we trapped out the beavers.

10. The pond itself becomes a liquid cafeteria. Bacteria breaking down the drowned vegetation are eaten by protozoa, the food for creatures like cyclops, daphnia, fresh-water shrimp, mosquitoes (of course), dragonflies, caddis worms, tadpoles, water spiders and so on.

11. Painted turtles, owls, herons, kingfishers also thrive in this habitat. They thrive on the flies and frogs that are in ample supply here.

12. Once the food supplies run out for beavers, they move on. The pond will eventually dry into a fertile meadow.

13. That meadow will sustain flowering plants, trees.....and perhaps, some day, another beaver pond...

Find more on beavers here.

More at Thursday Thirteen

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Graffiti is a Scream

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You're Invited
Strange Attractions: Exploring Graffiti

Photo Exhibit
The Funky Monkey
130 Elm Street
Cheshire, Connecticut
April 29 to May27

Reception: 7 to 9 p.m., Friday, May 2

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Remembering Virginia Tech a Year Later



"Nothing can make up for the absence of someone we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a kind of substitute: we must simply hold out and see it through. This sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap: he doesn't fill it, but on the contrary he keeps it empty and so helps us keep alive our communion with each other". (Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote this to his parents on Christmas Eve, 1943, from a Nazi prison cell.)

On April 16, 2007, Seung-Hui Cho killed 32 people and wounded many more before committing suiciden on the campus of
Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia. All who were affected by this nightmare a year ago are in my prayers today.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Weekend Snapshot: Brass Magnolias

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Here is spring as it gently, slowly, quietly transforms Waterbury into a leafy old city. The magnolia in the top photo stands outside the Chase Building, pictured in all its aging glory in the second shot. Waterbury is full of such treasures, and I love walking about and taking them in.

This building was designed by Cass Gilbert, the architect of the Woolworth Building in New York and, later, of the U. S. Supreme Court. The Chase family, whose Chase Brass Company was at the top of the city's economy, also spearheaded and paid 75 percent of the cost of the building of City Hall, which is across the street. Gilbert designed that building, too.

The Chase family was also instrumental in developing a complex of other buildings nearby, all designed by Gilbert, that was a showplace of the latest in architecture and city planning. This complex exemplified the interdependent roles of government, business, and charities in building a prosperous and progressive city, and it promised to be a source of pride for generations to come. (This information comes from the Connecticut Trust for Historic Preservation.)

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Blog Your Blessings: Delmo

Our gold-and-grey guinea pig Delmo is very ill. He had been hopping on three legs earlier this week, so I took him in for an exam. The vet tells me he might be suffering from cancer, kidney failure, a severe Vitamin C deficiency, or a bone infection. Whatever the problem, something is causing his bones to disintegrate inside his quiet and gentle little body. He is on antibiotics in case the cause is infection and on Vitamin C in case the lack of it is the problem. There's nothing we can do about cancer or kidney failure.

I felt so useless after I brought him home from the check up. I put him on the floor and let him rest after two hours of being pulled and stretched by strange,strong hands. He squeaked from time to time. I stood by, feeling huge, human, and helpless. Then I put his big brother Tapper on the floor so he too could get some exercise. Rather than engaging in the normal exercises of exploring or trying to eat my bamboo chair, though, he headed for his little brother and backed his generously proportioned rear-end up alongside Delmo's sore leg. That stopped the squealing in pain on the floor as Delmo purred with the pleasure the heat and the company afforded him.


It didn't stop the human noise, though. I sobbed and sobbed as I watched one critter take care of another with the heat of his own body. Tapper leaned into Delmo's pain, and Delmo leaned back and that was the problem solved for a good long while. It was such a sweet and simple moment.


That night, I slept with Delmo on the floor beside me in a makeshift bed we had created from an old wash bucket. Around 2:30 a.m., he cried out in pain, so I picked him up and lay him on my chest. He made his way, slowly and painfully, to my throat, and he rested under my chin. There we lay until dawn. I grew used to his feather-light weight, the rhythm of his breath, and the tickle of his whiskers.


I guess our lives are small, no matter who or what we are. And we're here for just a little while. If all we can do is be warm for each other, that's really something. Some days, it seems to be just enough.


I drafted the above on Wednesday evening. On Thursday evening, I came home late from work. There was Delmo in his makeshift bed and my husband and daughter beside him. Delmo started to shudder, so I picked him up and lay down with him on my chest. He shuddered until he died right there minutes later.
Please say a prayer for my daughter, who misses her friend very much.

(Image: Delmo is on the right; Tapper, on the left.)

More at Blog Your Blessings

Friday, April 11, 2008

Skywatch Friday: Kent, Connecticut

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This is a Congregational church in Kent, Connecticut. I took the photo 12 years ago on a Saturday afternoon with my great Uncle Bud. He was a lovely man, and every now and again we'd go out in his Buick for a ride along the back roads to see what was there. This was a regular pastime for this an elderly widower who had spent his long life loving the world around him and taking it to heart through the lens of a camera.

He kept his camera in his trunk unless the weather was extremely hot or cold so that he could snap whatever looked interesting. Of course, snapping came after using the light meter and going through all the other movements of a photographer who wouldn't dream of doing anything automatically or imprecisely. At the end of his life, he had cabinets full of photos of interesting things he saw along the way. Each one was a well-composed work of art.

When we made our travels together, I would watch him sweet talk gallery curators in to letting him photograph displays or asking mamas to let him photograph their children. Or girls on swings. And so many others. These people saw in him exactly what he was: a loving man who celebrated beauty. They responded as people who loved to be found beautiful. That was the magic of my uncle. God rest him.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thursday Thirteen No. 28: Accepting Charity

As an English teacher, I have often been required to teach students about politically correct language--what proponents of the stuff might call language free of bias. While some adjustments to our usage are useful and important, others are downright absurd. This is always the case when we have to talk about subjects that make us uncomfortable. We trade accurate, specific words for vague ones not to protect the dignity of the people we're talking about but to keep our distance from them.

Consider words connected to poverty. We have transformed the poor into people in need, the abused into people in crisis, and the mentally ill into people with issues. We have reduced charity to mere financial support.


Though these days the word charity refers to assisting the poor, it has its roots in love. Charity appears in the King James version of the Bible as a synonym of agape, or brotherly, love. I like this meaning of the word; it is kind and generous, free of the negative connotations that come with the contemporary use of the word. Bringing the ideas of compassion and love together results in the definition of a generous love for a friend, not some nameless person in need with issues.

Here are 13 passages from the King James Version of the Bible that include the word charity where more recent translations say love.

1. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. (1 Corinthians 8:1)

2. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. (1Corinthians 13:1)

3. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:2)

4. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:3)

5. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not... (1 Corinthians 13:4)

6. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.(1 Corinthians 13:8)

7. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. (1 Corinthians 13:13)

8. Let all your things be done with charity. (1 Corinthians 16:14)

9. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.(Colossians 3:14)

10. Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned. (1 Timothy 1:5)

11. And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.(1 Peter 4:8)

12. Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity.... (1 Peter 5:14)

13. And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.(2 Peter 1:7)

More at Thursday Thirteen

Photo: The door to the compartment at Topsmead in Litchfield, Connecticut, where the very wealthy Edith Chase would leave food for travelers who needed refreshment along the way.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: No Sleeping in on Sunday for These Birds

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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

To Honor the Memory of Craig Lundwall

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Craig Allen Lundwall
1966 - 2001

Today, April 8, marks the seventh anniversary of the passing of a dear friend. He chose to step back into the immense mystery of time and place by stepping out of this life when he was 34. I often wonder if he knew that by doing so he would become a teacher whose lasting memory, whose decision to close his book would open many others for me and perhaps for the many people who loved him.

I think of him every day. Daily, some part of our shared lives comes back to me in fleeting moments and leaves me thinking about the gaps in my knowledge of him, his life, and the struggles that plagued him incessantly through many of his 34 years. I often wonder what I didn't know as I reflect on what I did know. I do this free of any desire for hard facts; instead, I seek to find some understanding of the nature of his very beautiful being.

The greatest lesson I have learned thus far is that there are no definitive answers, no saying "this happened for this reason and only this reason" or "it could have been otherwise if only...." This it not to say that the truth is relative but that we are relative, we change and we understand the truth in each other differently each time we approach it. Nor is this to say that no answers are valid or true, but the validity of all answers rests in the nuances that unfold over and over again and open up more possibilities--and these are different each time we approach them because we are different. The closer we come to each other, the more clearly we see that the spirit through which we live and move and have our being is vastly beautiful and richly complex, subtle, fragile, and eternal.

This great lesson has taught me the importance of knowing nothing, of letting things be as they are, of seeing them as they are, and of genuinely loving them as they are.

I miss my dear friend. I miss his candor, his tenderness, his big, big heart and all the goodness that sprang from it. I try to water my memory of him with my own life, to grow from the seed he planted and to live in, with, for, about, and by that mysterious love that embraces us always and eternally.

Other posts about Craig

Monday, April 07, 2008

Weekend Snapshot: Your Life is Sacred Text

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Author and artist Jan Richardson of Florida led a women's retreat at Wisdom House in Litchfield, Connecticut, this weekend, and I'm glad I was there (video).

Your life is a sacred text, suggested Richardson, an ordained minister in the United Methodist Church who has been leading retreats for the past 20 years.

She discussed the practice of lectio divina, of seeing a passage of Scripture as story and allowing a word or words from it to rise from the page and enter our thoughts and pique our imaginations until they jiggle loose some new door that leads to a new understanding of the text. Passing through that door of understanding inevitably leads to a thin place where heaven and earth meet, where we know God's presence.

Lectio divina is the practice of reading a text, ruminating and praying over it, and then contemplating it that it might find its place in our hearts. For now. Because each reading of a text reveals different layers of meaning, opens different doors, closes yet another gap between heaven and earth.

Bringing this practice to our own lives means returning to an experience and ruminating, praying, and contemplating it--making of it a teacher who opens new doors of understanding over and over again. Bringing this practice to our own lives means reading the stories of others with compassion and humility, accepting that we can learn from each other.

Accepting that your life is sacred text means accepting the Annunciation as your own story, for example. To see Gabriel's invitation to Mary to allow God to be born through her as our own story means that God can be born in each of us. It means we can become a source of grace. It also means accepting that you are God's favored one, special and beautiful in your own right. Accepting your life as sacred text means claiming the Good Book as your own story as much as it means bringing your life to that story.

Along the way, we created accordion-fold books with our own writings or collages in response to readings about Mary, Hagar, that gorgeous woman who anointed Jesus before his crucifixion, and that leader of leaders Mary Magdalene.

Jan Richardson's retreat caused me to think of the Gospel writers. Very likely their intention was to tell us our own story, to hand us a fantastic myth into which we could place ourselves and accept the possibility of transformation over and over again. I wondered when readers stopped seeing themselves in these works and thought of themselves as other, as distant, as the inheritors of something weak and old and all but forgotten. It is not that the characters of Bible stories are special and that we are not but we are those characters.

Your life is sacred text.

I love you, holy, beautiful, and mighty one.

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One Single Impression

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Saturday, April 05, 2008

Blog Your Blessings: Wind

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I love to awake to the wind in springtime. The wind blew wild on Wednesday; my eyes opened at the sound of its dark and solemn music at four a.m. I lay and listened and watched the dull blue light of dawn blow in ever so slowly. After I pulled myself from my warm bed, I pulled on my sweats and went for a walk. I had wrapped an old winter coat around the warmth of sleep and enjoyed every last bit of it as the wind spun around me. I watched the trees sway and felt the music of the wind vibrating on the long and graceful branches of the ancient trees like so many violins. And the water. There's nothing more amazing to me than the wind moving across the water, blowing diamonds of light into shadows and shores. It is a silent movement, and it is magical. And the smell. I love the smell of the wind in my clothes. It is pure and clean and all its own. I love the thunder and strength of wind. It is the pulse of air, a proof of some mysterious, musical life that penetrates everything. It is the soul of the day, dancing, tapping my window, dancing. Come out and play.

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Friday, April 04, 2008

Skywatch Friday: Sunbonnets for the Bank Windows

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Here's the bank:

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And here's the jailhouse just a few feet away. You can look, but you can't touch!

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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Thursday Thirteen No. 27: What's in a Word?

The Online Etymology Dictionary is my new favorite toy. To discover the history of a word is to discover the poetry of our origins one word at a time. I looked up 13 words that crossed my path this week. (A random list from my random life.) Here's what I found.

1. The meaning of the noun familiar, as "demon, evil spirit that answers one's call" was first recorded in 1584.

2. A tally mark dates from 1440 and means a "stick marked with notches to indicate an amount owed or paid. The meaning of "a thing that matches another" was first recorded 1651 and is said to be from the practice of splitting a tally with the debtor and creditor each retaining one of the halves.


3. Friend is an Old English word for freogan, which means "to love, to favor." It is related to the Old English word freo, or "free."


4. Prodigious is from the Latin word prodigiosus, which means, "strange, wonderful, marvelous."


5. To animate means "to fill with boldness or courage" and comes from the Latin word animare, which means to "give breath to."


6. The word ghetto (1611) comes from the Italian word that meant the "part of a city to which Jews are restricted."


7. Belief used to mean "trust in God" while faith meant "loyalty to a person based on promise or duty." Faith, as a cognate of the Latin word fides, took on the religious sense beginning in the 14th century, and belief had by the 16th century become limited to "mental acceptance of something as true" from the religious use in the sense of "things held to be true as a matter of religious doctrine" (c.1225).


8. Anonymous is from the Greek word that means without a name.


9. The word angel "mounted courier," both from an unknown Oriental source, perhaps related to is a fusion of the Old English engel and Old French angele, "both from L. angelus, from Gk. angelos "messenger," possibly related to angarosSkt. ajira- 'swift.'" (Got that?)


10. A fellow means partner, as in "one who puts down money with another in a joint venture."


11. Mamma is nearly universal among the Indo European languages. It may be a natural sound in baby-talk or perhaps an imitation of the sound made while sucking.


12. Gossip is from the Old English word godsibb, which meant "godparent." It was later extended to mean "any familiar acquaintance" (1362) and especially to woman friends invited to attend a birth, and even later to "anyone engaging in familiar or idle talk" (1566).


13. Soul comes from the Old English word sawol, the "spiritual and emotional part of a person, animate existence." Of uncertain origin, the word soul is sometimes said to mean originally "coming from or belonging to the sea," because that was supposed to be the stopping place of the soul before birth or after death.

More at Thursday Thirteen
Image: Stock Exchange

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Wide Open to the World

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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Waterbury: A 'Pile of Junk' Some Call Home

Forbes magazine writer David K. Randall paid Waterbury a flying visit recently and pronounced it a "pile of junk" in the April 7 issue of the magazine. He noticed exactly one beautiful thing about the Brass City--the Union Station Clocktower--and found fault with everything else.

Randall spent his time in the city with Connecticut's former governor John G. Rowland, a Waterbury native who served 10 months in jail for fraud but who has been appointed by Waterbury Mayor Michael Jarjura to work with the city's chamber of commerce and the Waterbury Development Corp.to encourage businesses to come to the city. Clearly, the reporter was himself unimpressed with Rowland, whom he presented as more interested in taking care of himself than the city.

Pointing out the obvious requires little journalistic talent. Rowland is not a credit to Waterbury. If he couldn't whisk this reporter around the Green and point out the marvels there--the churches, the museum, the Y, the history, the Green itself where many good things happen, the John G. Rowland government building, for goodness sake--he might not be worthy of that $95,000-year job.

Randall made the obvious other points that there is poverty in this city, there are brown fields--lands poisoned by the very captains of industry who made their fortune here and whose buildings and monuments stand today--and boarded up factories, there are struggling schools.

If he went into one of these schools, the kids would have told him, as one told me the other day, that they're "ghetto." In Waterbury, this means they don't have a lot of money, they're old, and they're full of a mixture of races and languages. There isn't a school in Waterbury that couldn't make use of $95,000.

If the reporter made the effort of googling the name of this city, he would have found: a Western Connecticut State University branch, a University of Connecticut branch, Post University, Naugatuck Valley Community College, the yeshiva, an Islamic grammar school, arts magnet schools, the Mattatuck Museum, one shrine, downtown's technology zone, the Palace Theatre, Seven Angels Theatre, St. John's Church and the 40 social service agencies that use its resources, the Timexpo Museum, the Green itself, the Riverside Cemetery (on the National Register of Historic Places), and so much more.

If he had any sense of the place, he would have understood that Waterbury is as much a small town that takes care of the folks it likes--and liking can be as irrational as buying a corrupt politician and his guest a free meal,as happened to Rowland and Randall--as it is a dynamic city struggling to recover from its history.

I accepted the judgment on Rowland and Jarjura as an accurate assessment of a weird political decision. I accepted the inventory of what's wrong with Waterbury. I did not accept the assessment that the city is a "pile of junk." People live there. That kind of talk creates a ghetto mentality. You stop growth and hurt infrastructure in the form of vulnerable human beings and the many good folks working hard to do right by Waterbury. You don't hurt Rowland. He's living all right. He knows how to take care of himself, as we all well know.