Marry me and I'll be Your Friend Forever

When I read Krista Tippett's Speaking of Faith email newsletter on Thursday, the obvious finally made sense to me. In previewing this weekend's program, "Marriage, Family, and Divorce," Tippett makes the point that at the heart of a healthy marriage is a healthy friendship. Marriage as friendship involves making room in your heart to forgive all kinds of mistakes in favor of cherishing your friend. That can be a lot of work, so it's no wonder that the recommended dosage is once a lifetime per person.

Romances may come and go, but friendships by definition endure. When friends are so committed to each other that they choose to remain side by side in all things for life, that is marriage. A weakened, sickened, or sabotaged friendship is like a terminal illness that two people share but sometimes only one of the two--the one sending the sheriff out with the papers--recognizes. When such a very special committed relationship ends, that is death.

So what have romance, love, and friendship to do with marriage, considered by many Americans to be a sacrament, a mystical moment in which God is present? And where is God when such unions fall apart? Tippett's program will look at these issues. She describes the program thus: American ideals and rituals of marriage, family, and divorce are infused with biblical messages. But what does the Bible really say, and how has it been taught across the centuries as the institution of marriage has changed dramatically and often? A rabbi and Christian theologian help us explore the nuances of Jewish and Christian teachings and reveal the striking practicality of Jewish tradition across the ages and the surprising ambiguities of the New Testament.