Of Young Boys and the Mysterious Feminine

"This could go on for some time," my 8-year-old nephew apprised me as the end of the first period of a hockey game came to the end and we waited for the Zamboni to roll out and amuse us for 20 minutes.

"It could, Alex. Make yourself comfortable," I said.

"Want to draw?" I asked as I handed him my Moleskin notebook and a pen.

"Sure. What do you want me to draw?"

"What you like," I said. For no logical reason at that point, I thought I'd explain what I knew of the game. It took three seconds. "When the people around me cheer, I'll cheer. When they boo, I'll boo. It's OK, Aunt Sandy."

When my daughter was a baby, I used to joke that it was a relief to have a girl and be free of the obligation to deal with jock world. I don't understand most field sports, which I see as variations on the backyard game of Keep-Away--itself a misery--with specialized rules and terminology that boggle my mind.

Nine years later, the joke is on me. My daughter plays soccer and basketball and wants to learn volleyball, tennis, and I don't even want to know what else. I do little crafty things on my own to amuse myself during time-outs and half-times. I draw with my nephew, Alex.

Alex, who is about her age, has nary a drop of interest in the world of athletics and is happy to create skits, read books, and watch movies until he knows them off by heart.

The joke painted its own portrait at the game. Adella was so excited to be there that she took my husband's cell phone and, like air traffic control, attempted to bring grandma and grandpa in for the excitement. My younger nephew, Adam, was all over the game. Then there was Alex, who sat beside me. While the game raged on, he created landscapes of every kind--desert scenes, mountain scenes, fishing scenes, Halloween vignettes, Batman. He even played himself at tic-tac-toe and--go figure--won every time.

Alex the artist, the dreamer, the thinker, tranquilly added blue to his artwork when a crayon mysteriously materialized in our ranks while the mommy behind us and her second-grade angel bayed for blood .

We all had a lovely time.

The Sixth Verse of the Tao reflects on the root of creation and says, "The [Creative Spirit] becomes the whole universe," but "her immaculate purity is never lost. Although she assumes countless form, her true identity remains in tact."

There it was in Alex, who was just doing his thing. These days, "feminine" is a freighted word; we could as easily replace it with "creative."

In the chapter of his book, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, that reflects on this verse, author Wayne Dyer suggests: "Today, notice babies and small children. Look for the mysterious feminine nature in little boys and girls who haven't yet become so attuned to cultural and societal demands that their true selves are hidden. Can you see some whose inherent nature is intact?"

Yes, sir, I can. He caught a fish at the hockey game. Batman was there, too.

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8 Comments

  1. as a young girl, I always was with the gang: playing basketball and soccer, fighting, running, and what else. It took a while to discover makeup and short skirts. Even now I still climb trees sometimes...

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  2. Tao nos 9.
    Better to stop early than fill to full. Sharpen too much and the edge will not hold.
    Amass great wealth and it cannot be protected.
    Say too much and there will be confusion. Pretending to know is a provocation.

    41.
    When the wise hear of the Tao, they recognize it.
    When the ordinary hear of the Tao they ponder it.
    When the foolish hear of the Tao they laugh at it.
    Without the laughter, the Tao would not be the Tao

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  3. This essay is lovely, Sandy. Alex is so lucky to have you to recognize the feminine in him and to encourage it!

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  4. Hi Sandy! I have a tag for you http://mlizcochico.blogspot.com/2008/02/birthdate-tag.html. God Bless.

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  5. Creativity is a trait to be encouraged no matter the gender .. great post, I came over from David's blog!

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  6. Anonymous12:58 PM

    Both my sons played sports. (It's amazing how fast you can understand a game when your sons are in it). One was competive and one was not. The second one was not especially creative in an artistic sense, but he was sweet and kind and always snuck monolpy money under the table when I was losing a game.

    I like the idea of changing the word feminine to creative though.

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  7. Anonymous1:21 PM

    When the creative urge strikes, you have to go with it. There are plenty of games that can be boring, even in person, and it's good to have paper and pen to help you get carried off into another world. In fact, it's good to have paper and pen all the time, right? Just think about how often people doodle.

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  8. Anonymous4:45 AM

    Hi Sandy:

    Thanks for participating in this week's edition of The Seventh Day, the blog carnival hosted each Sunday On the Horizon!

    The Seventh Day: Eighth Edition is now live, so I hope you will stop by & pay a visit to some of the other participants' sites. There were a number of fabulous posts contributed this week!

    Blessings to you,

    Hopeful Spirit
    On the Horizon

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Thanks for being here.