"Do not underestimate good, thinking it will not affect you. Dripping water can fill a pitcher, drop by drop; one who is wise is filled with good, even if one accumulates it little by little."
These are the words of the Buddha (Dhammapada 9.7) quoted in Jesus and Buddha, the Parallel Sayings edited by Marcus Borg. I stumbled upon this passage when I was leafing through the book with no particular purpose this morning. The line brought to mind a friend's story about his friend who had been struggling with a drinking problem for years.
"This guy fought the bottle for years. I mean fought it. He'd sweat it out every night, would he drink or wouldn't. He'd sit in his car outside the liquor store and then go in before closing time and then hate himself in the morning for doing it again," my friend told me.
"Then one day he said, 'Hey, I can't drink. I just can't handle it.' And he stopped."
Of course, that's the simplified version of this recovery story, but I think it gets at the heart of recovery as well as what the passage from the Buddha says.
It's the difference between loathing and loving himself. Rather than seeing himself hemmed in by a weakness, flaw, shortcoming, problem--call it what you want--the man accepted himself for who he was. Rather than being a problem with a person attached, he became a person. He stopped defining himself by alcoholism and mistakes and started anew by loving himself exactly as he was.
The transformation likely started with our mutual friend, who is a wonderful listener who respects all life. He is a kind and humble man who's ready to hear and to learn. He accepts the possibilities that come through the open door of a kind heart. His drop of human kindness helped a friend wash away years of pain and struggle and to live anew. I love that.
These are the words of the Buddha (Dhammapada 9.7) quoted in Jesus and Buddha, the Parallel Sayings edited by Marcus Borg. I stumbled upon this passage when I was leafing through the book with no particular purpose this morning. The line brought to mind a friend's story about his friend who had been struggling with a drinking problem for years.
"This guy fought the bottle for years. I mean fought it. He'd sweat it out every night, would he drink or wouldn't. He'd sit in his car outside the liquor store and then go in before closing time and then hate himself in the morning for doing it again," my friend told me.
"Then one day he said, 'Hey, I can't drink. I just can't handle it.' And he stopped."
Of course, that's the simplified version of this recovery story, but I think it gets at the heart of recovery as well as what the passage from the Buddha says.
It's the difference between loathing and loving himself. Rather than seeing himself hemmed in by a weakness, flaw, shortcoming, problem--call it what you want--the man accepted himself for who he was. Rather than being a problem with a person attached, he became a person. He stopped defining himself by alcoholism and mistakes and started anew by loving himself exactly as he was.
The transformation likely started with our mutual friend, who is a wonderful listener who respects all life. He is a kind and humble man who's ready to hear and to learn. He accepts the possibilities that come through the open door of a kind heart. His drop of human kindness helped a friend wash away years of pain and struggle and to live anew. I love that.
9 Comments
the story itself means nothing to me but the title itself is very thought provoking. very thought provoking indeed
ReplyDeleteI hope you never face such struggles, bengbeng. I am glad the idea of kindness provokes your thought. God bless.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful tribute to all.
ReplyDeleteI fully understand this.
And by the grace of God, here I am.
Beautiful, just beautiful!
I borrowed your opening quote, linking back to your post, this morning. I just had to!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment on my pic! It made my day to know I made someone smile today!
ReplyDeleteYou have some wonderful, beautiful words and pictures on this blog, I love it!!!
Rocovering from an addiction is hard Sandy. But if someone believes he can do it (believes in the good in himself/herself?) he can... But support in the form of a friend or a group is very important as I found quitting cigarettes. I also used tobacco replacement products (the patch, lozenges) which were very helpful. :)
ReplyDeleteThere's good in all of us, there's bad in all of us. We tend to think more negative about ourselves easier, I think, especially in hard times. Some times it takes a bit of climbing out of the hole at a time to realize the good things. The more we realize the good, the wiser we become to things.
ReplyDeleteAye, Sandy,
ReplyDeleteA good talker is a great asset, but a good listener is invaluable.
I love that too!
ReplyDeleteJust today, I was at a Hobby Lobby's to get something framed for my son. I noticed a man standing beside me who was having a beautiful piece of art work framed. I inquired about it and he told me that a young man, 21 years old drew and painted it but that he no longer does anything like it because he is an alcoholic. My heart went out to this young man because it was so obvious to me by his beautiful artwork that he has so much to give, so much to share,and so much to love. The man I spoke with told me he has not given up on him. I told him that there is a reason why he is in his live.
Thanks for being here.