If Craig Lundwall were here today, he would be marking his 44th birthday. It would be a celebration. All who knew and loved him would be sharing the joy. Craig was remarkable, first and last, for his kindness and his sense of humor. These gifts manifested themselves in so many ways that no single person who knew him--even very well--can name completely.
Craig took his life nine years ago for reasons I don't--can't--fully understand. Obviously, sorrow overwhelmed him, and he saw no other way out. What pain, what anger, what frustration filled his heart I can well imagine, but I don't know. The bottom line is that those things that were not good won out over those things that were marvelous in every way. So his pain was big.
I used to say the world is so much less now that he is gone. That was my own sorrow talking. I see it differently now. These days I say, "Thank you Craig, for being here, and for sharing the road with me for so many years." His gifts were many and beautiful; to stay in sorrow is to miss that. No more.
Every time I say thank you, Craig is here, and the way is beautiful yet.
17 Comments
What a moving and beautiful post, Sandy! I felt a deep sense of pain for the loss of a friend and wished that I could offer some solace. But realized you've found your own joy and comfort in the gifts he gave you along with the realization that he has never left you! And yes, the way is beautiful yet. I do wish that we might meet someday. I feel such a closeness that I have rarely felt.
ReplyDeleteSylvia
Beautiful post that touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your friend; the best ones are always here for a very short time... These beautiful people are simply too good (and too sensitive) for this world.
Have a lovely day my dear friend...
xoxo
where is the love button... excellent post :)
ReplyDeletea great realization which we need to ponder. thanks for sharing a bit of life's lesson.
ReplyDeletethere are dangers for all of us if we linger too long in our sorrows and depressions for we stop hearing the other voices of joy and hope. I had a cousin who took his life also-a doctor with a wife and three sons that couldn't take the pressures. He is greatly missed but lives on in a better place. I'm sure he misses his family but watches over them...
ReplyDeleteWonderful tribute to Craig, Sandy. Sorrow can overwhelm us and cause us to forget the good times. You are so right to cherish the best in Craig and celebrate it.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for opening your heart!
Hugs
SueAnn
Sandy, our lives are but a mist... Yet the essence of who we are lasts forever... I have many friends that are no longer bound by this earthly existence, and they show themselves every day in the creation. In particular, I see my grandpa in many faces of people that never knew him... it is a great comfort...
ReplyDeleteWhat a moving tribute to your friend. My youngest brother took his life as a teenager and I've never been able to understand that.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful tribute to your friend Sandy. I know about this kind of loss, it happened in our family. Tragic and hard to understand. Life is so short already...
ReplyDeleteSending hugs, G
I feel moved by your tribute, Sandy. I feel sad for your loss but, at the same time, happy that you can thank Craig for the time that you knew him.
ReplyDeletemahalo for blessing us with this soul-wise post
ReplyDeletewarm Aloha from Honolulu :)
Comfort Spiral
Thank you, friends, for being here. The anniversaries of his birth and death make it new all over again for me. It's a good thing. It makes me look closely at myself and the people around me. These anniversaries remind me how important it is to love honestly, to be faithful. To not waste time. To live and love well. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteand to comment below your wise words Sandy.
ReplyDeleteit is so.
I lost my best friend , a friend to many , almost 3 years ago now, and it is important to remember and grieve
and important to live in the now.
Very nice tribute to your friend, Sandy. A moving post indeed.
ReplyDeleteSandy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I'm sure that in many ways you feel it just as deeply. I love your perspective.. I always do. Hugs to you my friend.
ReplyDeleteVery well said...Sandy, you must have been a really good friend to Craig. I'm sure he appreciated you so much...Just from your writings anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend...
ReplyDeleteIt reminds of a country song I recently heard, in it the singer says, "I'm not crying for you, I'm crying for me." A song about a friend, or brother, that died and is in heaven, the brother knows it, loves that he is in heaven, but misses him so. Makes me cry each time I hear it.
ReplyDeleteYou make me think Sandy, so often.
Thanks for being here.