From the formless void
The clean, sharp light of dawn
Circumscribes the sea
That once
Very nearly
Claimed my daughter and me
In one great swallow.
Now and again
I see that grey wall of water
Rising to engulf us.
I see my daughter
Opening her mouth to breathe
Only to claim water.
I watch her swim.
I swim with her.
I push her away
From the indifferent
Tumultuous sea
Toward something solid
All the while knowing
I have no say in the matter
The sea will claim what it will
This is a riptide
We are nothing.
But the sea spared her and me
And I see the line
Between here and now
And nothing.
I am on the right side
Of that line.
I am sure.
42 Comments
I had a similar experience with my daughter and the sea.
ReplyDeleteThis is gorgeous and terrifying.
wow, powerful poem, I almost couldn't breath as you swallowed water...scary.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that joke.
ReplyDeleteThe sea washes her child back on the beach after she begs God.
"He had a hat!" LOL
Come see a cathedral tomorrow, Sandy:
Aloha,
Comfort Spiral
Very powerful and moving words, Sandy. I love the ocean, but I learned early to have a very healthy respect for it's power that can swallow anyone or thing at any given time. I'm so thankful that you and your daughter were spared. Have a lovely weekend.
ReplyDeleteSylvia
Sandy: Beautifully told and shown.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, if this is true and the power of the words says it is, I am so happy that you are both on the right side of that line! Wonderfully written and your photo is superb.
ReplyDeleteI remember you mentioning this when it happened. Scary. I bet it does replay in your mind when you are tired and struggling a little. Lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteEnormous emotion read your poetry ...
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Great photo for your poem filled with emotions. I felt like I was there!
ReplyDeleteI have never seen a picture quite like that one it matched perfectly with what you wrote here.
ReplyDeleteKindest regards,
Tom Bailey
very scary Sandy, wow. I held my breath almost as I read...you brought it home, how easily something or someone can be lost...
ReplyDeletebeautifully written.
Bella :)
Wow. That was an amazing telling.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I love the water, I am also terrified of it as well. Someone we know drowned in a riptide in Hawaii a few years ago; glad you and your daughter were safe. Your poem was an excellent reminder of the power we do not have over the chaos of the sea. Have a great week~
ReplyDeleteSandy, I always enjoy very much reading your great poetry. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHow terrifying.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness you both stayed on the right side of that line...
Love yr poetry. Even though I live by the sea, I have a real fear of water.
ReplyDeleteLovely. Makes me miss the Gulf where I grew up just terribly.
ReplyDeleteExcellent Sandy... ha! I can't afford to be to short of breath at the moment but did enjoy your words... Thank you for your visits, my blogging is very one sided at the moment so to keep seeing your name poppng up is so nice.. thank you Sandy.
ReplyDeleteDear sandy, the anture is in revolution...
ReplyDeletehave a nice sundayhttp://graceolsson.se/mittliv/2010/01/17/vinters-blommorna-i-flowers-from-today/
your poem evokes the awesomeness of the ocean, and our helplessness in its face.
ReplyDeleteI remember this story very well. Too well. And even now I feel the same knot when I think of it that I did when you told me about it.
ReplyDeleteSo incredibly glad that both of you are still on this side of the line.
You wrote this so well, the short choppy sentences, the emotion, that I drifted away with you, for a moment there, I had to catch my breath. Very very nice, though I imagine at the time, nothing was more important than getting back to 'the right side of the line.'
ReplyDeletePhew,the sea is so chaotic!
ReplyDeleteA scary incident. Good that you grasped order from the chaos.
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrifying experience that must've been...I had a dream similar to this about my daughter and I. Thank goodness it was only a dream. The ocean, like life, can overpower us with its brutal force when it wants to.
ReplyDeleteA very dramatic experience!
ReplyDeleteBut so well told.
This poem shows vividly how thin that line is. I'm truly grateful the sea made another choice that day. A harrowing, powerful read. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi Sandy, this the greatest!
ReplyDeleteThe engineer in me said to pay attention to your structure/form on this one as I often do.
I kept on seeing senryū/haiku sets thrown in here and there with no apparant pattern. Was that deliberate?
My favorite set was
"I see my daughter
Opening her mouth to breathe
Only to claim water."
I kept wanting to read the last line as
'only water to claim.'
I am glad you (first person writer) ended up on the correct side of that line.
The whole thing, although a little slower, is similar to experiencing a motorcycle wreck, starting at highway speed plus.
It 'just happened' and things are gone. Like a dream.
That's my take, thank you,
..
Wow Thanks so much for sharing. Your blog is such an inspiration
ReplyDeleteIts terrifying - and its wonderful that you found yourselves in the right side of that line.. That photo is aweinspiring, to say the least.. Its in perfect sync with your verse.
ReplyDeletewow! the imagery is powerful!
ReplyDeletei could really feel it..wonderful lines.. :)
ReplyDeleteThe line is fine - to be on the right side is truly wonderful! Well told with the best kind of outcome!
ReplyDelete.. powerful & telling ..
ReplyDeleteThe sea giveth, and the sea taketh away. It seems like you were lucky and spared that day. Be thankful for each passing day given by the sea. Such power and mystery combined. You describe the incident is such imagery, I found myself searching the picture, looking. It is sometimes hard to relive the nightmare. Well done Sandy.
ReplyDeleteHi Sandy;
ReplyDeleteThis sent shivers in my spine. I have had such a harrowing experience like you did not just once, not twice but three times in my youth and sometimes those experiences give me nightmares.
I can relate to it so much Sandy.
those last three lines overflowing with wisdom....
ReplyDeletePowerful and evocative! There is nothing that punctures one's self-identification as a creature of importance quite like the implacable hand of the sea. Cheers!
ReplyDelete“Now and again
ReplyDeleteI see that grey wall of water
Rising to engulf us.”
A grey wall of water--magnificent, impassive, implacable. There is no arguing with it.
What a vivid impression this leaves of how precious and fragile our lives are! I too am thankful that you and you daughter found yourselves on the right side of that line.
Very nice. Powerful words and images. The ocean is a permanent and unforgiving entity. I fear it's power.
ReplyDeleteMelanie
What a very frightening experience and I can feel your awe which I am sure is renewed each time you remember.
ReplyDeleteYour powerful poem resonates mightily ... bringing to mind a similar experience I had with my sister and a friend when I was about 12 or 13. It pays to have respect for the ocean.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings,
Thanks for being here.