Every time my daughter comes home with a story about some nightmarish little girl cat at school or on the playground, I find myself telling her to hang out with boys. At her age, girls can be pretty tough on each other. The advice doesn't much help yet; in her almost 10 years on this planet, she has remained unconvinced that there are any boys who aren't gross, with the important exceptions of her cousins. Maybe I'm a fool and should instead encourage the "boys are gross" idea for another ten or so years.
But every time I giver her the boys-are-more-fun advice, I recall my own experiences of the boys who were my friends when I was younger. Having endured the trials and tribulations of what girls do to each other, I emerged from the bag of cats by my high school years to enjoy the company of some really good guys. I think of them and I smile. We had fun. I recall the laughter and see the big smiles of plain fun.
The other day I received an email from one of these guys for this first time in almost 25 years. He was a great guy--or as my mother says when she recalls him, "A nice, nice kid." (In my mother's lexicon, the double adjective "nice, nice" is the ultimate compliment--nice beyond nice--14 karat.)
On the Christmas Day of one of those high school years, he walked across our cold and slushy town to bring me carnations and say Merry Christmas. He was very bold. He came to the front door (we had new carpet and NOBODY came to the front door), and walked across the living room in his sneakers (GASP), and gave me his gift (WOW).
Twenty-five years later, I can't imagine walking into a house full of somebody else's relatives on Christmas and doing that and not knowing what to expect by way of reply.
Twenty-five years later, I still can't take in that someone thought I was worth the trouble.
He was a good friend. Foolish girl that I was, though, I don't think I fully appreciated how good. I get it now, though, and I hope my daughter has more sense than I did and that she makes the most of her time with the good guys. I hope she never lets go of true friends.
Since our conversation, she has pressed me to demonstrate sure knowledge that not all boys are gross, and I have told her the story about the boy who brought mommy flowers no Christmas Day a long, long time ago.
The memory is a blessing in its own right and as a lesson for my kid. The greeting from that friend in the present is also a blessing. Life is beautiful.
Blog Your Blessings
But every time I giver her the boys-are-more-fun advice, I recall my own experiences of the boys who were my friends when I was younger. Having endured the trials and tribulations of what girls do to each other, I emerged from the bag of cats by my high school years to enjoy the company of some really good guys. I think of them and I smile. We had fun. I recall the laughter and see the big smiles of plain fun.
The other day I received an email from one of these guys for this first time in almost 25 years. He was a great guy--or as my mother says when she recalls him, "A nice, nice kid." (In my mother's lexicon, the double adjective "nice, nice" is the ultimate compliment--nice beyond nice--14 karat.)
On the Christmas Day of one of those high school years, he walked across our cold and slushy town to bring me carnations and say Merry Christmas. He was very bold. He came to the front door (we had new carpet and NOBODY came to the front door), and walked across the living room in his sneakers (GASP), and gave me his gift (WOW).
Twenty-five years later, I can't imagine walking into a house full of somebody else's relatives on Christmas and doing that and not knowing what to expect by way of reply.
Twenty-five years later, I still can't take in that someone thought I was worth the trouble.
He was a good friend. Foolish girl that I was, though, I don't think I fully appreciated how good. I get it now, though, and I hope my daughter has more sense than I did and that she makes the most of her time with the good guys. I hope she never lets go of true friends.
Since our conversation, she has pressed me to demonstrate sure knowledge that not all boys are gross, and I have told her the story about the boy who brought mommy flowers no Christmas Day a long, long time ago.
The memory is a blessing in its own right and as a lesson for my kid. The greeting from that friend in the present is also a blessing. Life is beautiful.
Blog Your Blessings
18 Comments
That really hit home with me. I have a 17 year old girl. I am perfectly terrified about her dating. I was once a little boy and I know what some of them think. Gasp!!! Thanks for stopping by my place. Hope you are having a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteI think he might have liked you as a little more than a friend!
ReplyDeleteGreat story. I so agree with your thinking. My best friends when I was here age was a set of 3 brothers, one my age, one a year older, and one a year younger. Girls and their antics never touched me and I learned how to take care of myself hanging out with guys. As we got older my 'Christmas flower" story was Halloween as he was dressed as a cowboy. It still brings back sweet innocent memories.
ReplyDeleteGreat story Sandy. I raised two daughters and like Michael, I sat up at home cleaning my gun until they returned safely. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeletelife is beautiful does sum it up really well =)
ReplyDeleteThat's a great story, Sandy. Of course I don't think your daughter will listen to it...they never listen, do they?
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful story with a really great message. Hopefully your daughter will take it to heart.
ReplyDeleteHe did like her as more than a friend.
ReplyDeleteI always had boy friends, you're right they are nicer. Girls were always out to compete and boys just liked me for me. :) She should listen to her mommy. :)
ReplyDeleteBoys will be boys, to be sure, but there are fairly direct ways for girls to deal with that kind of boy. The girls I refer to above are masters of indirection, and the harm they can do is insidious. I know that from my own experience.
ReplyDeleteThis friend from the past was a friend, first and last, and that's what made the call so nice. I he had simply been pursing some devious bad-boy end, his email wouldn't have meant anything to me.
It's important to be with people who make us feel good; the goodness can root itself and last a lifetime.
I dunno... I still think boys are gross... but girls have kooties! :)
ReplyDeleteOh I know how you feel about the cats of school. I have 2 middle school girls-I've give them the same speech about the boys you give your daughter. They never really listened-until they hit middle school then they searched out the boys for different reasons. I like your memory about the friend at Christmas. Reminds me of the "boy" friends I had-really good ones from elementary and high school. I don't think I valued them as much as I should have.
ReplyDeleteGreat story indeed!! Though I know my own teenager rarely, if ever, listens to my own life lessons.
ReplyDeleteBright blessings
Happy BYB Sunday
Nice to have life long friends like him! As I was reading, I thought you were going to say you married him BUT then I remembered you said he called after a 25 year "absence."
ReplyDeleteBlogger finally let me get my photos -- I tried for 4 hours yesterday and again this morning and finally got my blessing online. Please drop by again.
You are SO worth it, Sandy. I am surprised he was the only one to take the "long walk". Have a great week.
ReplyDeleteMost of my friends were boys, too, though I had exactly 4 girlfriends that I went through school with and whom I trusted implicitly. The boys came later, and they were awesome, not catty. I ended up marrying one of them :-) We're still married 25 years later.
ReplyDeletePeace - D
Interesting... my daughter has always had lots of friends who are boys, from her youngest years on. Maybe that explains why she doesn't exhibit many of those catty tendencies that some girls seem to have.
ReplyDelete(P.S. In regards to my post about mean girls, the coach apparently noticed the problem and called my hubby today to apologize. Would be nice if the girls apologized, but I thought that was very nice of the coach.)
What a lovely memory and such wonderful advice to pass on to your daughter, especially at the age of 10 when life can be so challenging for girls in our society. She’s blessed to have you guiding her so lovingly and with such marvelous understanding. Your memory has evoked some of my own today … so thank you ;--)
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings,
Thanks for being here.