When Life Hands You Lemons...Clean Your Colon

Used to be your mother reminded you to put on clean underwear before you went out. Nowadays, it's the colon.

"Did you know," a friend of a friend said to me recently, "that they found 42 pounds of sludge in John Wayne's colon after he died?"

What were they doing there? Let's not ask. The point: "He was loaded with toxins."

A few days later, I shared this startling trivia with dear old dad, and he told me his boss's driveway paving guy recently told him the same thing. Thereupon I learned that I am way behind the times yet again: cleansing the colon is as ordinary a daily procedure for people nowadays as, well, washing everything else they've got. Of course, if celebs aren't actually wearing undies anymore, going out with a clean colon only makes sense.

So my friend's friend wife gave me a copy of the how-to. I am now up to speed on the lemonade diet, and my husband has been on it for the past week. He's lost about a pound a day thanks to this cleansing system: six glasses of lemonade made from the juice of real lemons, a certain amount of maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. Now and again, he does the salt water rinse, which is to say he bathes on the inside as well as the outside.

Here's what the Master Cleanser Lemonade Diet website says about itself: The Master Cleanser Diet, or as popularly known, The Lemonade Diet was created by the late Naturopath Stanley Burroughs. The Diet consists of fasting to rid the body of toxins, created by improper diet, lack of exercise and negative mental attitudes. The purpose of the Lemonade Diet is to dissolve and eliminate toxins and congestion; to cleanse the kidneys and digestive system; to purify glands; to eliminate waste and hardened materials in the joints and muscles; to build a healthy bloodstream; to maintain optimal blood pressure; and to what you all are waiting to hear... to lose weight. As a reducing diet it is superior in every way, reducing fat at a rate of about two pounds a day for most persons, without harmful side effects. Take 6 - 10 glasses of lemonade during the day. Six glasses for those wishing to reduce. Extra water may be taken as desired.

If you're not out to reduce, you may have a little more maple syrup in your lemonade. There's a reward for being fit!

As for me, I'm giddy with delight just watching the whole happy process work for my husband. For as long as I can remember, I've snacked on lemons by the slice whenever I feel hungry during the day. They taste good, they're refreshing, they take the edge off of my appetite, and little kids think it's neat I can do it in one go. My party piece. If they hear about the adding maple syrup, I'm cooked!