Imagine a school system's investing time and effort into banning a specific brand of stuffed animal from its schools because the carnival-prize-quality plush critters' presence violates an anti-bullying policy.

I want to go to this school. I want to see this kiddie Shangri-la where the tough guys are made of polyester. Then, from a safe distance, I want to see the adults who kick the fuzz balls to the kerb because they are interfering with scholastic law and order. This has happened in Easton, Massachusetts, as well as Colchester and Mansfield, Connecticut, so far. Why?

WBZTV reports:
In recent years, schools throughout Connecticut and nationwide have tried to minimize distractions by prohibiting everything from Pokemon cards to Beanie Babies, Tamagotchi cyberpets and "Captain Underpants" books. The 44 different Webkinz stuffed toys reflect characters in an online game of the same name. Colchester school administrators say several students have tried to play the game on school computers during indoor recess.

Each Webkinz toy comes with a code that allows the owner access to the Webkinz site, where the following bad thing happens, according to WBZTV: On the site, children can "adopt" a Webkinz after receiving it, decorate a virtual room, care for it like a real pet and participate in games and other activities. Owners use "Kinzcash" to buy items for the cyberpets.

This could become an epidemic control issue for the kiddie commandants. More from our trusted source: Griswold Superintendent of Schools Elizabeth Osga said she was not aware of a similar ban at Griswold Elementary School, but was not surprised by the Jack Jackter prohibition. "Having been an elementary school principal and teacher, I know if one student brings them to school, they all do," she said. Tom Murphy, spokesman for the state Department of Education, said he was not aware of any other schools that have banned Webkinz, but he said he would not be surprised if there were more.

I grew up in Danbury, Connecticut, where the race riots of the 1970s made a big dent on everyone's psyche for years and years and years. Imagine if those kids were throwing teddy bears instead of punches--and each other?

See Tigger in the House of D for more over-the-top educator antics.
Click here for a little tour of the Webkinz site with Adella