Blog Your Blessings: Muskrat and Teacher

Yesterday evening I took a long walk along the edge of the swamp near home and shared part of the way with a muskrat. I watched him swim until he came to a tuft of grass. Then he would walk over the grass and slip back into the water. On and on he went until he went deep and hooked a left into the still waters under the shadows of the hills. I didn't expect him to come up where he did, which I think may have been his point.

That's the way to do it, I thought. You do what you do, and when there's an obstacle, it's up and over. When it's time to change direction, then it's time to change direction. You do it. You get yourself to a safe and peaceful place, and you rest.

The little furry dude was my teacher last night.

Lately, I've had a tough time with some difficult, obstructive people who delight in hurting others. I've toughed out sleepless nights trying to figure out why this is and, more important, why they had me so upset. Though these women are pretty rotten, they don't actually occupy a lot of space in my life. But they had me, and they were pulling my strings.

Last night, with the help of a friend, I got to thinking about an earlier time in life when I was in love with someone whose family didn't love me and who worked tirelessly to convince me that I was not worthy of love. They were spectacularly successful; for years I was convinced I was worthless and therefore deserving of their horrible treatment. Climbing out of the hole they dug for me took a long time. This latest bunch of not-very-nice people brought my heart back to the scene of an earlier crime. I got that last night, with the help of the muskrat and a friend.

I didn't want to look. Didn't want to deal with it. At all.

My friend asked, "Why do you think you are not worthy of love?" The candor of this simple, direct question broke the dam that had held me back for so long. I cried like a very hungry baby.

"You are worthy."

And I cried.

"It's not a perfect world. Some people are mean. Some people will try to break down everything you build up. It's that way. But the world is beautiful. And you are beautiful. And you soar. But you are not alone."

Soaring is good. So is swimming like a muskrat--deep into the dusk. Not alone.

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23 Comments

  1. May you always swim like a muskrat and experience God's blessings. Life is not always fair but God is good.

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  2. I have been where you were. I felt totally rejected by my parents and that had a long term effect. I totally believed that wasn't worthy of love. It's taken a long time to realize that the world is beautiful, that I am beautiful and that I am worthy of love. And, yet, there have been some things happen in my life recently that made me begin to question that. I don't want to go back to where I was and your post today has reminded me that I, too, soar and that I'm not alone. Thank you, Sandy. Have a lovely weekend.

    Sylvia

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  3. May you have a wonderful weekend and bask in your new found freedom. Freedom to spread your wings and fly!! Leave the toxic people behind. You don't need them at all!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  4. But the world is beautiful. And you are beautiful. And you soar. But you are not alone.>>> i like this part. we need to know how to see the world today.

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  5. glad you survived the onslaught of the 'self esteem thieves'...

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  6. You are not alone, ever. You deserve love. You are loved. Big Hugs(())

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  7. If we could see ourselves through the eyes of the man from Galalee. Then we would KNOW and UNDERSTAND that we were made for, by, and because of love... Some people can't wait to show you just how small and hurt that they are... instead of asking for love they kick against the grain their whole life. They actually need the same love that everyone else needs. If they hate you, it's because they hated Him first.

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  8. Wow! No wonder I am drawn here day after day. Yay YOU!




    Aloha from Waikiki


    Comfort Spiral

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  9. Sandy, I'm sorry you've been having a difficult time with some people. You are one of the kindest, caring, most beautiful-minded people I "know." Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. You're so wise to read into that muskrat's message as you did. Hugs to you, my friend.

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  10. Very moving post, Sandy. I'd like to know if the percentage of nice people in the world is more than 50%. I really hope more.

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  11. Anonymous2:55 AM

    my wife drinks
    her world stinks

    car gone
    job gonr

    no food on farm

    she loves me
    gorn free
    lloyd
    no way out

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  12. Oh but there are people whose roles in life seem to be to spread the seeds of rejection and negativity. But I'm happy to read you've found your freedom. I wish you pay it forward by making someone else think he/she is worthy. That's the only way we can fight back the darkness of negativity that seems to shroud the world.

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  13. "When it's time to change direction, then it's time to change direction."
    That´s wise true.
    Luiz Ramos

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  14. I like the lesson the muskrat taught you-and I'm glad you shared it with me : )

    One other thing-you not being worthy-that is ridiculous actually it's beyond ridiculous. All one has to do is read one of your poems-just one-to see how stupid that thought is.

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  15. Sandy: What a neat metaphor with the muskrat swim. You are really a neat teacher.

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  16. Glad you worked through the hurt ..

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  17. And I thank you - and even a mouse - for this great lesson that has touched my heart ...
    :-)

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  18. Congrats Sandy on your POTW!!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  19. Sandy,
    congrats on the POTW mention from Hilary.
    I hadn't read this, but geez, people are so hurtful.
    I don't know what is at the root of stuff like this getting under your heart and making you doubt your beauty and worth, but it is simply others projecting their fears onto you. Perhaps it indicates how sensitive and empathetic you are ,that you absorb other's pain and see it as your own.

    have a beautiful love filled day

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  20. back to say Congrats on the POTW mention from Hilary

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  21. There is true wisdom in this post. I'm so sorry to hear that you've had to deal with such negative people and the horrible impact they've had on your self worth. I'm also thankful that you have a friend who can ask you such a hard point-blank question and restore your soul. May God bless you in your future dealings with the negative people in your life.

    Congrats on POTW!

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  22. this really spoke to me
    I am going through something that brings out feelings that you describe so well

    thanks

    congrats on POTW

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  23. a beautiful moment you captured...and you are worthy...naysayers may cling to your shoes, just scrape them of before you come in the house...congrats on the POTW!

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