Acceptance and Rejection: Two Sides of the Same Coin

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If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. (Vincent Van Gogh)

Acceptance and rejection are two sides of a coin that must be invested and reinvested in the creative process. They are insights, holes in the walls that isolate us from the world around us and let in the light of understanding.

It can take time to assimilate both acceptance and rejection and avoid the pitfall of becoming complacent in response to the former and inactive in response to the latter. This can be difficult because artists are vulnerable at every turn in the creative process. They have expressed whatever is true and real in themselves in the truest, most real way possible, and they await a response. Will you stop and look? Give it a thought? Do you get it? Do you care?

On Sunday, I attended a forum on acceptance and rejection at Wisdom House. There, a panel of five artists--sculptor Joy Brown, poet Davyne Verstandig, visual artist and writer Florin Firimita, actress Cady McClain, and music director Tim Stella discussed the place of acceptance and rejection in their lives. Two reflections struck a chord with me.

One came from Florin Firimita. He talked about an experience about 18 years ago, shortly after he had emigrated from Romania to the US via Italy. He had been sitting for five hours with a gallery owner who had seen his work. At the end of the conversation, the gallery owner told him he wouldn't show Firimita's work--flowers and landscapes--because it was, he said, wall paper. He told the young artist he didn't believe his body of work reflected who he was. Firimita spent a year thinking about what this provocative statement could mean. Ultimately, he discovered the gallery owner was right, and he changed his direction as an artist. His florals and landscapes gave way to psychological landscapes that explore the universal themes of identity, love, death, loss, reality, dreams and memories.

The other came from sculptor Joy Brown. She talked about her time in Japan as an apprentice sculptor. She had thrown countless sake cups, but not a one pleased her teacher. So off they went to the dump. The student had more to offer, and the teacher was not willing to settle before she realized it for herself. Accepting that meant accepting a broader horizon full of possibilities. She discovered later, though, that the man who had managed the dump had rescued her little cups from the rubbish and displayed them around his hut. They pleased him; he found them beautiful. These cups were works of art for him though they were merely a step in a broader creative process for Brown.

I've known acceptance and rejection. They feel the same to me. I prefer that moment when I am creating and nobody is around and the voice inside says "yes." I don't always here it, and it doesn't last long; it doesn't have to. The "yes" is the air in the cushion that protects me from the pain of rejection and even the painful challenge of acceptance. The "yes" tells me what I have done is true and good right now. And it asks, "Will you come with me, please?"

Here's a video clip from the forum.

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14 Comments

  1. very good i will link and feature your post

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  2. Very well put. As an artist and a writer, I have felt what you describe so aptly.

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  3. I love this post. "One man's meat is another man's poison" is what enters my head with the rejected art.
    I understand what you mean about that little voice that affirms what you are doing before anyone else can appraise it. I am my greatest critic. At the same time I struggle so much with the acceptance / rejection thing. I cannot say, as you do, that they both have the same effect (or you said something similar - I can't see your post now and my memory is literally that bad sometimes!) I fear rejection. But in discovering that about myself, it does not have such a sting anymore.

    Thanks for this post. It provokes thought (yet again you sensitive soul you!)

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  4. Wonderful post! Like you I've known acceptance and rejection. But I like to dwell more on the positive. I like the quote from Van Gogh. It is sad that when he was alive, many rejected his paintings. They were very different but he continued to paint despite overwhelming rejections. Today he is very well known and his paintings are now masterpieces. Those who rejected him never reached his heights.

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  5. this post is special. knowing the effects of acceptance and rejection helps a lot.

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  6. Great quote. Brilliant post. I believe in empowering others, not tearing them apart.

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  7. Just like beauty, art is in the eye of the beholder...I've always felt that it mattered little if others found fault with my work as long as I was happy with it...for me the key is edit edit edit...great post, of course David sent me by
    Sandi

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  8. great post...I came by via david...

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  9. Oh Sandy, what a every lovely and thoughtful post you have written here. It brought tears to my eyes. I think there is so much wisdom and insight in these words...that I am sitting here, marveling and trying to digest it at the moment. Very nicely done, indeed!

    I've been thinking about having some quest bloggers on my site. Would you be interested in posting this piece on my site in the very near future?

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  10. Very insightful. I like the quote by Van Gogh especially.

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  11. there is something poetic about a student's sake cups being rescued from a rubbish heap by a man to whom they speak...that image grabs me.

    marvelous post. i'm glad david pointed me here.

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  12. Wonderful! As a poet and writer, I need to use this as wallpaper.

    David sent me...D

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  13. Anonymous1:00 PM

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  14. What an excellent post Sandy. I think we've all shared these feelings. Having finished a particular project or reaching a goal and then being very happy with the results. What comes after, rejection or acceptance of others does of course have an impact but it certainly shouldnt 'make or break' our perception of the work we were initially and personally happy with. Very interesting thoughts to ponder, thanks.

    www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

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Thanks for being here.